


Oblitus

by Elsian



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4377056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsian/pseuds/Elsian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen might be clean now, but lyrium leaves it’s mark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oblitus

Dorian's laugh faded away when Cullen did not respond to his incredibly witty retort, leaning forward and trying to keep his features calm as Cullens hand hovered over a knight on his board, just as it had done for the last ten minutes. 

"Cullen?" Dorian asked warily, shuffling forward in his seat. The other man flexed his fingers before finally looking up and away from the board, confusion clear on his face. 

"I don't know how to play this game." 

\----------------------------------------------------------  
It starts slow,insidiously. Small things that no-one notices because they're so commonplace. Walking into a room and forgetting why he's there, putting down the keys for his rooms and unable to find them again, the little things everyone does now and then, laughing about it with friends and family about 'oh what are you like?'. 

It's been a source of much amusement to Dorian at first, smirking at the confusion on Cullens face as he frowned and cursed under his breath when he walking into the library or the tavern, gazing around and flicking his middle finger off his thumb as he tried to recall his reasons for entering the surroundings. 

"You look lost, Amatus." Dorian smiled at him and Cullen shook his head. 

"I just came in and I've completely forgotten why now." Cullen sighed "What a waste of time." 

Dorian chucked, placing a book on the shelf. "Must be your old age. Besides, it's never a waste of time when you get to see me." 

Cullen smiled, touching Dorian's shoulder and leaning in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"I will not argue with that, my love." He turned to leave."I shall see you later, unless I happen to remember what I needed."

"It can't have been that important of you can't remember, old man." Dorian waved at him with the book in his hand. "Be careful on the stairs now, don't want to break a hip."

Cullen snorted, even as his blush coloured his cheeks. "I'll give you 'old man'. You wait until later"

"Ooh is that a promise, Commander?" Dorian teased back, his laughed echoing down the stairs as Cullen escaped, red-faced but smiling all the same. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

"This garden is so beautiful." Cullen remarked from where they sat, looking out over Skyholds courtyard that had only grown in beauty under the Inquisitors care following the fall of Corypheus. "I can see myself sitting here forever, reading or playing a game with someone." 

Dorian looked to Cullen, eyes widened. "Would you like to?"

"I'm sorry?"

"A game? Would you like to play?" Dorian asked, shuffling closer to Cullen though not touching him.

"A game of what, sorry?" Cullen frowned at him, and Dorian had to restrain a sigh, leaning back on the bench. 

"It doesn't matter, my apologies."

"Alright." Cullen turned back to the garden, gazing out over the flowers once more.

Dorian should know better than to hope by now, but it doesn't make it any easier.

\------------------------------------------------------------

"Have you seen them?" Cullen looked up as Dorian entered the room, already flummoxed by the question. 

"Seen what, Amatus?" Dorian stepped forward, picking up a few sheets of paper that had been discarded in Cullens apparent ransacking of his desk. 

"The letters for King Alistair!" Cullen cried, running his hand through his hair "They're vital to our meeting with him next week for the Inquisitor and I've gone and lost them." 

Dorian stepping forward, taking Cullens shoulders in his hands. 

"Those letters were sent last week, we delivered them to the messenger ourselves before supper." Dorian reminded him gently. 

Cullen stared, frowning and mouth slightly agape.

"Are you sure?" He shook his head "I could have sworn..."

"I promise you, the letters are already well on their way to Ferelden." Dorian smiled, squeezing Cullens arms gently before letting go and taking his hand. 

"Come on, you're late for supper. That's why I came to get you." 

"Oh I hadn't realised the time, I've been so caught up in work." Cullen leaned in, pressing a kiss to Dorians lips. "I'm sorry, we can go now."

"Excellent. There were the most wonderful smells coming from the kitchens earlier, I believe we are having duck." Dorian replied, making idle conversation as they left the tower and headed towards the main hall. 

Cullen hummed next to him pensively. "Sounds magnificent, though I should take supper in my rooms really. The letters to King Alistair won't write themselves."

Dorian frowned at him for a moment.

"No, they won't." He finally agreed quietly. 

He needed to talk to Cassandra 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Cassandra had shaken her head sadly, unable to offer anything for Dorian other than support and a pained look in her eye that must have reflected Dorians own.

"It... Is not unexpected." She said, leaning on the wall behind her. "I did not expect it so early, not with him giving up, but lyrium is a terrible thing to have in your body for any amount of time."

"Is there nothing we can do to help?" Dorian implored. It was getting harder, Cullen growing worse with every week that passed. "What if he took it again, could he at least gain some coherency back?" 

It was a awful thing to suggest, and he wished he could take it back immediately. To her credit, Cassandra didn't scold. 

"I fear it would only exacerbate things now. All we can do is support, remind, let him know we are here for him, that you are for him."

Dorian sighed. It was not the answer he had hoped for, but certainly the one he expected. 

"Thank you. I should be getting back to him." He turned to leave, but Cassandra took his arm. 

"I have seen this before, in older Templars. Dorian, it is not going to be easy."

Dorian opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't think of a thing to say. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

Dorian had lain awake a long while thinking on his conversation with Cassandra, Cullen fast asleep beside him for some time by the time he managed to drift off.

He wasn't expect to be awaken by a collision with the floor, startling awake with a yell as he hit the floorboards.

"Makers breath! What was that for?" He yelled in shock, looking up at Cullen who was staring down at him blankly from the bed. He stood, dusting himself down and scowling. 

"Cullen, would you care to explain why I just had a rather enthusiastic meeting with the floor?" He asked angrily.

He looked to Cullen for an explanation, all ire draining away when he saw how ashen the other man was. 

"Cullen?" He sat gently on the bed, placing his hand over the Commanders. 

"I didn't know who you were." He whispered "I woke up and I didn't know who you were, so I pushed you. I was going to get my sword and then it was you. Oh Maker, Dorian, I'm so sorry." 

Dorian pulled Cullen to him, pressing the other man's head into his shoulder and stroking his hair gently as Cullen took deep breaths, not quite sobs but close. 

"It's alright, Amatus. I am not angry, you didn't mean it." 

"I'm losing myself, Dorian." Cullen pulled back, eyes red and close to tears. "I'm losing myself. I'm going to lose you and I won't even know it's happened."

"It'll be alright, Cullen." Dorian took hold of his face gently, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I am still going to be here, you are not going to lose me." 

Cullen pressed himself back into Dorian, hot tears hitting Dorians skin as he held the Commander, rubbing his back soothingly. 

"It's going to be alright."

He wasn't sure which one of them he was trying to convince. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

"You remind me of someone I used to know." Cullen smiled at Dorian from the window seat in the library, his book open in his lap, still on the same page it had been an hour ago.

"Oh, is that so?" Dorian remarked lightly, giving Cullen a small smile.

"Yes, I think it's the eyes." Cullen continued "He was a Mage too. I think." 

"He sounds like an interesting man." Dorian placed his own book down as he looked at the sun outside, realising the bell was about to toll for supper. "You should tell me about him over dinner." 

Cullen stood as the bell rang. He was good with routine, the regularity of the bell something that stuck in mind. "It's be my pleasure" he replied, following Dorian down the stairs. "You remind me a lot of him, you know."

Dorians heart sank at the repetition, but kept his smile all the same as they walked down the stairs, always attentive as Cullen told him about the Mage that he used to know. /p>


End file.
